Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day

Boy, I wish I knew then, what I know now. I became a mom serendipitously. It was an accident, but that’s not fair to any of us. I didn’t accidentally become a better person over the last four years; I cried and doubted and failed, I laughed and persevered and...
SELF-HELP ME!!!!

SELF-HELP ME!!!!

I don’t read self-help books. I find them pedantic and patronizing. Same goes for memoirs, generally. I like literary fiction; short stories, if I must. I think it’s important for my brain to hurt a little trying to wrap my head around a story or concept. I want to...
Your Religion and My Kids

Your Religion and My Kids

“Creepy baby”“Hey ladybug, get out of the way”“Let’s get out of here”“Ew, get away” All heard by Christian children raised by Christian parents who grew up at this Christian camp. All full of piss and vitriol cloaked in the veil of a Jesus their grandparents knew. I...
Fuck Your Mommy Blog

Fuck Your Mommy Blog

There is nothing more infuriating than getting to the end of an Instagram post and realizing that it’s a fucking ad for some bullshit because you want to get paid to be an ‘influencer’.  Is that a job now? If my daughter ever tells me she wants to be an influencer...
Don’t Be a Plugger

Don’t Be a Plugger

  Remember the Funny Pages?  Or maybe a better question: Remember newspapers?!  Don’t answer that, for the love of god.   My grandfather used to love the comic strip “Pluggers”.  It is a snarky, self-deprecating peek into the life of the Plugger —...

I’m Grumpy & I Live Here

OH MY GOD STOP APOLOGIZING FOR EVERYTHING! (That’s me I’m talking to, but also probably you too, so listen up!) TAKE YOUR PLACE, MOMS.  Own your space and don’t you dare apologize for being a human. REPEAT AFTER ME: “I’m grumpy and I live...

You’re Not Boring, You’re Just Bored

 Every time I feel this way I take on a new project. Last time I started an MBA. The time before that got a puppy when my daughter was an infant. It’s like a temporary lapse in sanity, in order to help me *feel* something. GIVE ME PURPOSE OR GIVE ME DEATH! *Now,...

Depression | The Dark + Dirty

Depression is dark and dirty. It’s really hard to see through when you’re in it and even harder to remember when you’re not. It’s irrational and careless and really fucking scary. It makes you believe that life is futile. It makes you believe things are hopeless. It...

WE GET IT, YOU DON’T LIKE KIDS.

<rant> You don’t like kids. Listen, I get it. You don’t love them noising up your restaurants or your airplanes or your public spaces in general. You didn’t choose them, so why should they affect your life so loudly? I completely understand. The thing is, I’m...

Happiness & How You Can Help

DISCLAIMER:  My husband is delightful; I love him and the life we have created.  Please remember that as I continue and hang on for the ride… To begin, you should know that I’ve been on a lovely anti-depressant cocktail since accepting my PPD over two years ago; I...